No one likes viruses, the nasty things. They could bring down the mightiest of machines in seconds, leaving them useless to their humans for who knew how long. Of course, they were a much bigger problem if you happened to be a machine yourself. Unfortunately for TikTok, he’d contracted one of these horrible little bugs God only knew how. Normally it wouldn’t be such a problem; He was a very sophisticated machine, after all, and even if he couldn’t get rid of the virus himself, any one of the talented scientists he knew could. After many shut downs and reboots, TikTok’s mother regretfully found that the only way to get rid of the disease plaguing her poor creation was a total database wipe. She’d had all his memories downloaded, luckily, so he’d still keep those intact…but that was all.

All the personal growth the robot had done over the years, the understanding of humans, all his emotions and feelings, all of it was gone. It was like his soul had been erased, and TikTok didn’t like it one bit. After all these years, here he was back at stage one, just how he’d been when he was first created.

“Don’t worry, TikTok,” Nattie told him softly, rubbing his back in a motherly fashion. “We’ll have you reprogrammed with your personality in no time.”

TikTok sat motionlessly on the lab’s operating table, his eyes blank and staring.

“No.” He stated suddenly in an emotionless tone. “It would not be the same.”

“What?” Nattie blinked in surprise. “What do you mean?”

TikTok turned to her stiffly, his smooth, human-like movements gone. “It would not be the same, Natalie.” He insisted dully. “My personality was randomized, with well over a thousand possible combinations. The likelihood of receiving a personality that just happens to be identical to my former one is thousands to one. Making it incredibly improbable that I will ever be as I was again.”

TikTok’s mother frowned at him, replying, “I have all your traits on file…don’t worry.”

“A lie. You never saved my personality. You did not wish to, as you did not want to be reminded that you programmed me a certain way. You wanted to feel I was a living, conscious thing. Understandable for a human; you wanted to believe I had a soul. Which was illogical. I am artificial, as you know, and thus cannot have a soul.”

Nattie stared hard at the young man she’d created several years ago. He’d grown so much, from the little child-bot he was when she’d first decided to make a robotic assistant. He’d literally grown up before her eyes, but now what was he? An empty shell that couldn’t even use contractions. Was there really no scrap of the TikTok she’d raised from an eight year old boy to an engaged adult?

“Is that really what you think, TikTok?” Nattie asked, her eyes narrowed and her voice hard. “That you don’t have a soul? Is that how you feel?”
Blink. “I can not feel.”

“Don’t think about what you can’t do, just think about what I’m asking. Is. That. How. You. Feel.” Nattie replied sternly.

TikTok obeyed to the best of his ability, trying to put aside the facts for a moment despite his programming. Maybe there was some trace of himself back there, something that could actually think without having to calculate all the possible answers to find the best one. After a very long silence, TikTok managed to answer,

“No, that is not how I…feel. I feel that…I did have a soul. And that I do wish to regain what I have lost. But I do not want to be programmed.” Nattie was about to protest, until he continued, “Please, Mother. I want to try…”

Nattie raised an eyebrow. “Try what?”

“I want to try to develop on my own. A programmed personality always made me feel no better then any other machine. Anyone can write a personality program now, using your method. I do not wish to be ‘any’ machine.” TikTok took hold of Nattie’s hand suddenly, giving it a gentle squeeze. His face and voice were totally bland, and yet Nattie was sure he was trying desperately to show emotion. “Please let me try.”

“What if it doesn’t work?” She asked quietly after a moment. “Then what?”

TikTok let go of her hand, straightening his back proudly. “Then I will let you reprogram me, and we will know I am only a machine. I will accept that. But I want some time to try, first.”

Nattie was silent. “What about May?” She asked, referring to TikTok’s fiancée. They had told her what would have to be done to save TikTok, but she hadn’t seen the ‘new him,’ so to speak. Nattie wasn’t sure how well this whole thing would go over once May met this TikTok.

The robot was sure he felt something like sadness pass his heart (in a manner of speaking, considering he had no heart) at the mention of May, but he couldn’t be sure.

“I do not know…I do not wish for her to leave me.” TikTok gave an internal sigh as his memory banks pulled up images of his romance with May, going all the way back to when they were children. He couldn’t quite believe it was really him in all those photos and videos; was there really a time that he could love? TikTok stood suddenly, walking towards the lab door. “I will speak with her and explain my condition and what I wish to try. If she decides to leave me, I will understand.”

But I hope she won’t, he added to himself, for he was sure his non existent heart would break, whether he understood love or not.